I get that is not the truth. I get that its more or less just feelings I have because I have been knocked off the path I thought I would be on. And more than anything its been frustrating. But its not the first time my life has been pushed in a direction I didnt plan for it go down. And I survived that...
I truly believe you either control your attitude or it controls you.
Daily I am choosing to have a positive attitude. I would be 100% lying if I said this is easy. Some days it is. Somedays I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and take each step as it comes. Other days I just want to throw in the towel and be done. I am sick of feeling crappy. I am sick of feeling sick. But obviously that is not helpful.
So what do you do? I have decided to try and continue to live my life as best I know. I am continuing to invest in relationships of those around me and continue to grow as person. I am really excited about the class I am taking at church. It will really push me to grow and sometimes forced growth can be the best. Or at least the best to initiate the growth until I have the momentum to sustain it.
Thank you for keeping your blog going. Sometime is may seem tedious to you, but to us reading and praying for you along this journey, it give us a sense of what you must be going through emotionally, physically and spiritually. You ROCK! During a sermon at my church, the priest talked about beauty and how most of us look at the outside of a person to find the beauty. He continued on to say that God does not care what we look like, he wants us to be beautiful on the inside! You are beautiful on both sides. May God bless you and help you discover the strength he knows you have. Thank you for being such an inspiration to all of us along this journey. Kitty
ReplyDeleteA part of your life really is on hold right now. You have to hunker down and give your body what it needs to fight what's going on inside so that you can eventually move on and get back on track. It's very difficult, but you will make it. I did a lot of yoga during that time, tried to stay in touch with friends, read a lot of "fluffy" literature (I didn't have the brain power for anything too deep), and even tried meditation--anything to calm down my mind, which made me feel like I would go crazy trying to get through chemo. You will get through this, and you will be stronger and wiser for it. Keeping a good, positive attitude is the BEST thing you can do!
ReplyDeleteYour words are so powerful Jyndia! Your beauty and strength shine through the darker moments ....you have captured an attitude that will bring strength to every day! Lori Smithwick
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