This past January I was able to take a hard look at my life. What were my priorities? How was I allotting my time to be spent? If I had an extra few hours unplanned in my day, what did I decide to fill it with?
It seems all my life, my time with my God has been a bit like a river. There are eb and flow moments where the rhythm feels natural. And then there are moments where I feel like the river is rushing so fast I am barely keeping up. Other times I feel like the water is dried up or I am suck in an eddie with lackluster purpose. Shifting between these phases usually has more to do with my schedule and priorities. When less of me is demanded, I find it easier to devote that time to God. When more is demanded of me, it falls by the wayside. Never entirely, but enough to feel noticeable.
This is what I know to be true. The times in my life where I have felt the call, "walk with me" and obeyed, are among the most rich.
This past winter I was at this crossroads where I felt like God was calling me to walk with Him. No excuses. Simply asking me to put my faith in Him and trust that He had the entire situation in control. Talk about humbling and terrifying at the same time. I felt the pull to know who God is, understand his character more. The passage I have studied that reveals God's character (straight from his own mouth) is in Exodus 34:6-7. God is compassionate, gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, loving and forgiving and just. This is what I needed to know. Who is my God? What defines his character? How does knowing his character influence my own character?
And so I walked with my God. Dug in and learned more about my character. Learned more about what it meant to be me; my truest self. And God was faithful; he walked with me through it all.
Part II: Silence
Part I: Pull Over
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| "Crossroads"... my house in Portland |
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