Big week and big weekend

Last week went well! Thank you all for your prayers, text messages and thoughts. I made it through the week. I ended up having over 16 new evaluations in just 26 hours of work, along with some other patients. I was absolutely buried in paperwork, but had a blast being back at work. Everyone was fantastic and so thoughtful that it made being back at work such a natural transition. I am thankful I am doing half days both last week and this week and a little nervous about doing full days next week.

This past weekend my nephew turned 2!! My parents were able to come out to Oregon to celebrate with us, which was a treat after being able to spend so much time in Montana with them. We went down to Burk and Lydia's on Friday and came back on Sunday morning. The trip was too short as always, but it was packed with all around good quality time spent with each other. Lydia's family was able to come down as well, so it was good to catch up with them.

I am still working on the online spinal cord injury course I started roughly a month ago. It has been great to reengage my brain with patient specific information, but a lot harder to finish when I have work demands. Tomorrow I get to go to a symposium on concussion and moderate brain injury, which will also be good to get those wheels spinning again. I have seen a lot of patients this week with concussions, so it will help to solidify knowledge in regards to evidence based treatment for them. I am thankful to work in a university setting where these continuing education opportunities are readily available for us.

I added some of my favorite pictures from the weekend spent with my nephew. He is such a sweet boy with an infectious laugh, kind and loving spirit and the happiest little guy I know. I am thankful for my brother and sister-in-law and their hospitality over the weekend.

Happy Moma's day

Happy Mother's Day!!!

The cool thing about being home right now is I get to celebrate Mother's Day with my moma! Its the first time in a long time that I have been home and after the last few months, it is especially sweet to spend this day with her.

If you know my mom, you most likely think of a few things. Maybe her red hair or her blue mascara. Maybe her beautiful green eyes that she passed onto me; just a shade darker. Maybe it is her strength, her tenacity for fighting injustice, her selflessness, her love for people (especially her family), her smile. Really, there are so many things I think of when I think about my mom.

When going through chemo treatments, one of the really cool things for me was receiving cards in the mail. I was blessed to receive cards from many people throughout treatment, all of which have been saved in a special box. One of the common themes throughout the cards was one of strength and perseverance (naturally, right?). Throughout the 12 weeks, I received several cards from people I did not know personally and often they would start of saying something like, "If you are anything like your mom, you are a strong woman…" "I am always so impressed with your mom's strength and I am sure she has passed that quality to you…" and so on. I keep saying it was really cool, but it was incredible to hear people talk about my mom's strength.

My mom has been through a lot these last 4 months. I personally am not a mom so I do not understand what it could be like to hear a diagnosis of cancer issued to your child. We often think of "cancer" as a death sentence and I cannot imagine the fear of just that when the words were first whispered in that hospital room. I remember the tears of those early days well. The emotions of fear and uncertainty. The "unknown" that sat like a dark unwanted cloud around our family. But there was my mom, being strong for all of us.

Family is incredibly important to me and I am so blessed to have an amazing family. I have many friends my age that have lost their mothers' too soon and so on this special day, I will hug my moma extra tight. I am lucky to have this time to spend in Montana and already looking forward to a few weeks when we will all be in Oregon to celebrate my nephew's 2nd birthday :)

For all the momas out there, I hope you get to spend some time with your kids today!

One of my other favorite moms :)

Unwavering support

Flowers from yesterday

Yesterday we had a gathering for people to come by and say hello and visit while I am home. It was a brilliant idea (by my mom of course) because it allowed me to thank so many of the people who have supported me through my journey. I truly was impressed by the unwavering support these individuals have shown me over the past 4 months (and beyond as most of them have known me since I was a boisterous teenager). If you were able to attend yesterday, thank you! Thank you for your support, your prayers and your interest in my life. I am humbled by how many people have supported me and my family during this time; yesterday was no exception.

There is something special about being from a small community. I think of this often as I reminisce with friends about our high school days. I laugh at the crazy antics we got ourselves into (and out of) and truly feel like I had the best community in which to grow-up. I remember many summer nights laying in the backyard looking up at the stars and realizing just how lucky I was to have my best friends as my adventure buddies. I feel fortunate that even to this day some of my best friends are ones I made in high school (nearly 11 years ago :S)

This community takes care of its own. I remember when I first got sick my intuition was to keep everything very private. I didn't want anyone to know I was sick because I didn't want them to feel sorry for me. Through a lot of encouragement from my mom, I finally let people in on my journey. And I could not have dreamed the support I received.

This community raises one another's children. In the best sort of way. It was like our parents knew we were safe just by the people we were with, or rather, the hundreds of other eyes that were watching our every move :) By playing sports in this town, you became known by many. And with that, expectations were put upon you. It wasn't long before "little eyes" were also watching our every move.

Its been a blessing to be home and get a chance to thank people in person for their support. I know I am just one story among many for this community to rally behind. Thank you all for everything. From prayers, to cards, to gifts, to support for my family, etc. Every gesture has been appreciated and nothing goes unnoticed.  Thank you!

High School friends: Bryce, Katie and Alison

High School Friends: Kristen, Becky, Burk

Weekend #4... fatigue

On the Waterfront

Hard to believe I am on the other side of another weekend; particularly one following a 6 day treatment cycle. It feels good to know I have two weeks to regain some strength, build back up and face round 3 with vengeance. This weekend was pretty low key as I was really tired from treatment all week.

One of the biggest challenges for me has been adjusting my expectations of what I can do in one 24 hour period. If you knew me before, I was always on the run. Thinking, dreaming, planning adventures to be had in Portland, the PacNW or visiting friends in other parts of the country. I would think nothing of working a 10+ hour day and going to a concert that night only to work the next morning. Now this is not to boast in anyway, it is only meant to highlight the drastic difference in my current situation.

Jason and my mom after the cut

Friday the highlight was my mom cut her hair!! It is so beautiful and I cant wait to see how she will style it. She wanted to cut it short because I lost my hair, which was entirely too sweet of her. We found a cute look and my hairstylist turned her into one hot moma! Love love love her hair cut!!!

On Saturday I had treatment. Only about 1.5-2 hours. Received more steroids and more fluids to continue to flush my kidneys of toxic Cisplatin and to receive a shot to encourage immature white blood cells to exit large healthy bones to build back up my immune system. I could tell I was tired because normally I tool around on my iPad or read and all I wanted to do was lay there. After chemo we ran an errand or two and I knew I was wiped. We came home and it was all I could do to get off the couch. My mom went on a date with two of my professors from college (Julie and Jeanette) who took her out for dessert and tea for the afternoon. So lovely and sweet of them.  The rest of my evening was spent either in my bed or on the couch.

On Sunday my mom and I had arranged to take a walking tour of Portland. She had mentioned at some time while she was here that she thought it would be interesting to learn more about Portland. So we took a 2 hour guided tour of the city and walked about 2 miles. It was really informative and cool to learn some of those things with my mom. I was tuckered out after the tour so we came back home. I had church class that afternoon and again had to come home following it.

Managing fatigue is very new for me. I am not used to slowing down, at all. I am getting better at listening to my body, but it is still hard to slow down. This morning before I got out of bed I had some quiet time and allowed myself to just "be still" and completely shut down my overactive mind. It was a challenge, but was really rewarding once I was able to do it.

Portland Walking Tour with my mom

Dr. Visit

I have officially completed 1 cycle of chemo. Three weeks down, at least 6 to go. I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday for a check-in to see how things were going. Overall, the past two weeks have been ok. I have maintained my weight, which was a big goal. I was able to be more active and for the most part, was feeling normal again. Until my incision started hurting more than usual and started getting red and tender.

My oncologist (who is also my surgeon) took one look at my incision and decided it needed to be opened for fear of infection. Due to starting a full 6 days of chemo on Monday and my immune system already being compromised, he didn't want to just put me on antibiotics. So he made a small opening next to my incision and drained fluid. The good news was it was not infected, but an accumulation of fluid. So for the next few days I have to pack it with gauze until the fluid is gone. Ugh!

After the appointment we drove down to Lebanon to my brother and sister-in-law's house for the weekend. Burk has a climbing competition today which will be really fun to watch! We got some good family time in yesterday and I am looking forward to today!

James climbing

Puddles!

Thank you for your prayers. I am frustrated about the healing of my surgical site, but realize it's just one more thing and I just have to get through it. Not looking forward to starting a full cycle of chemo again next week, that's for sure.

Making cookies with mom