Hair growth progress

Ever since the day I found out I would lose my hair, I have been a mixed bag of emotions (read about that here). At first, I was really mad. I liked my hair. Never have I had short hair and just the thought was quite terrifying. Then, once it started falling out, I realized being completely bald was actually quite easy and saved me loads of time getting ready each morning. In America, hair is highly regarded as one of the key components of beauty. Yearly, millions of dollars is spent cutting, coloring, straightening, etc. all for what? To feel beautiful.

When I started back to work, I purchased another wig that could be worn without a hat. My mom bought me a wig early in my cancer treatments that is designed to be worn under a hat. It is so fun because it is really long and has highlights (something I have never done to my own hair). The wig I bought for work is shoulder length and looks very similar to what my natural hair looked like. The primary reason I wear a wig to work is because I can pick and chose who I tell my story to. If I go without my wig, it is very apparent I have just been through chemo, which comes with a lot of questions. I am managing anywhere from 40-60 patients on my caseload and not all of them need to know my story.

Since starting work, I have had a lot of funny moments with my wigs. The first week, I was so paranoid that it would shift significantly and my patients would notice (in my mind, I picture a child seeing someone's toupee move or fly off all together and the horror on their face). Every time I would bend forward, I would feel it move a millimeter and freak out internally. Or there were a couple of times I caught myself with having an itch and just slid my wig back and forth to get at the itch not realizing my hairline moved inches. A few times I would get on the streetcar or bus and immediately pull it off and put it in my bag not realizing people were watching the process and probably wondering "what the heck?"

The truth is, my hair is finally growing and there will be more and more times that I step out without it on. Most weekends I do not wear it. I know that I do not need to wear it to feel beautiful, but being without hair is not natural in our culture and is a red flag for additional questions. And sometimes, you want to be anonymous in a large crowd. Blend in with culture. And that is okay :)

Here is the last month of hair growth for me:

First picture taken May 6th; Last picture June 16th

And little humor for you: