Hope

There is hope. Always. Even in the darkest of times...

2014 was quite the year for me. Most of you know the story; the chapter that was written from Christmas day 2013 until November 20th 2014. I am aware it is arbitrary to put dates on such a chapter, but for now, those seem most appropriate. The change in me over those 11 months cannot be quantified. In fact, it would be accurate to say that right now, I am closer to the person I have always wanted to be, than ever before. And for that, I am truly thankful.

While in Montana over the Christmas holiday, I got a tattoo that I felt represented this past year and the chapter in my life it is meant to represent. It is one single word. Hope. Nothing fancy, no mysterious message for people to surmise its meaning. The "p" is in the shape of a teal cancer ribbon- nodding respect to ovarian cancer. It is located halfway up my forearm in an elegant font that represents the beautiful journey that ultimately saved my life. It is simple. Designed to stand alone. It in no way represents all of me, but daily reminds me that my life is meant for so much more than I ever imagined it could be.

Last year, January was full of fear. Fear of the unknown. And this year, for me, January represents hope for the future. God is faithful and never once did I consider my own mortality. Never asked the question of "why me?". Never once considered my life to be hanging in the balances. And this is not because I am superwoman or have some sort of perfect perspective on life, but truly because I believe in a God that is much bigger than death. And I put hope in a future that boasts of blessing rather than the "junk" this world offers. 

A year later, I am starting to pick up the pieces of my life that was discarded over the past year. Some of those things are not worth revisiting. Others deserve thought and contemplation, but still remain to be discarded. It is amazing how being stripped of all things, can bring spotlight to the things that matter most. I am thankful for many things, believe me, the list is long. But truly, I am most thankful for a renewed hope in what this life can be...

Lots of awareness going on around here!

Morrison Bridge lit up in Teal for Ovarian Cancer Awareness

October is officially Breast Cancer Awareness month. This year, I feel like my eyes are a little more open to all the "pink" thats floating around the media. I have always loved that the NFL wears pink throughout the month of October. I also love seeing people display ribbons or bracelets denoting themselves as survivors.

A close friend recently asked me how I am doing with things lately. I told her its been interesting...

To be part of a group of "survivors" is unique. On the one hand, it is incredible to be alive. The women (and men) I have met that belong to this group are amazing. Each story is moving. The depth of soul-searching these people have done along their journey is evident in their persona. I am thankful to know these people and hope to continue to get to know more of them.

On the other hand, its incredibly frustrating to be a part of a group that I did not choose. Most sub-groups of people that one belongs to is because they have chosen to be a part of them... college friends, coworkers, etc. I never intended to have this be a part of my story. But it is and now it is on me to decide what to do with it.

I have been blessed beyond imaginable. I guess that is part of serving a God that longs to bless his people. When I see a women in public who is bold enough to display her beautiful bald head, I find I just want to go over to her and hug her. I want to her to know she is brave. No matter where one is in their cancer journey, it is important to know they are loved and supported.

Here is my hope for these "awareness months".  Not only do I hope money is raised to find a cure for some of these horrible diseases, but also that more and more survivors' stories would be told. If you know someone who has survived cancer, encourage them to tell their story. There is power in knowing the difficulties of one's life.

Happy Sunday!